I'm on a roll, Y'all! Yay me! I know it isn't officially Austism Awareness Month, but in our house, it's always Autism Awareness. My 9 year old amazing, smarter than me already, wonderfully quirky son has Asperger's and sensory processing disorder. (I know the DSVM doesn't recognize Asperger's any longer.) He is on the spectrum. But I have come to realize something, an epiphany if you will. We are ALL on the spectrum in some way. We have our idiosyncrasies. Our routines and habits. We like things the way we like them. Some people can handle disorganization. I am the person who can usually find something important on my desk that is covered in papers. Others, that would drive them bonkers! Look, just ask my sister or my partner about making my soup when I want to make the soup! That is a story for another time......
I'm not saying it has been easy. You would think that someone who teaches and works with kids with all kinds of special abilities (disability- don't like that word because the prefix dis means a negative or reversing force, To me it means they don't have an ability to complete something or are utterly helpless. So not the case) could recognize and handle having a son that had difficulties with certain things. Yeah, well when you are his mothe,r it gives you a whole new perspective. I actually grieved for a while and still have anxiety attacks (no joke!) when things are hard for him and he is not treated fairly. To see someone you love more than anything in the world struggle is the most difficult thing.
However, what a blessing he is! He has taught me more than I ever learned in school. He has empathy, a wicked sense of sarcasm and humor (don't know WHERE he gets that from!) He has a small circle of people that he lets in and if you are lucky enough to be one--he loves you with all he has. He is a light and joy and a grumpy old man all at the same time. He can't tie his shoes. Lord give me strength, we have tried with that! His fine and gross motor planning suck. He has bionic hearing, I swear and he is already smarter than most adults I know. He has helped me learn to have patience, love unconditionally, and that he could easily be my Sister's child. They both like a few number of people and if you are one of those lucky few, they will move Heaven and Earth for you. He is fiercely loyal and wants to please his teachers.
He is also one of the most literal people you will ever meet. There is no gray. Only black and white, and what some people (a lot) think are rude statements are just a fact that he believes to be true. That doesn't mean you can't teach him differently or change his mind. He just has to be taught.
True Caden story--Kindergarten, oh kindergarten, that was interesting. One day he was upset and having a melt down as many 5 year olds do, not because he had Asperger's but because he was 5 and that is developmentally appropriate, and he kicked the blinds and the smart board in the room. That night, during bath time, we talked about what happened. He said he was upset because he had to do the "tootie tot" and that was for babies. I said, "Buddy, when you are upset it is not OK to kick the smartboard, blinds, or anything else in the room." He looked right at me with those big baby blues and said, "Why didn't you tell me that before? Now I know the rule!" Lesson learned--like a ton of bricks.
Here's what I hope you take away from tonight's little rambling--
- Please do not assume that your students instinctively know what they are supposed to do and how to behave.
- Do not assume that they generalize what they do know as "rules" or "norms" across settings. Home and school rules are often VERY different.
- Explicitly teach and reteach what you want and need them to do. Then really, I mean REALLY, reinforce them when you catch them doing the right things! You are building their confidence and using positive reinforcement--and guess what? It really works. Students and your own kiddos want to please you -- even the weenie head you think hates you in class. It's true!
- If it's been a hectic few days in your classroom, it is OK and awesome to do a "Factory Reset."Go over the rules again. Practice them in a fun, not punitive, way!
- How many times have you forgotten a meeting or missed a time line for something due? Give your students the same benefit of the doubt--it won't take much time and I PROMISE-Trust me on this--It is time well spent and the outcome will be amazing!
- I feel as teachers we have to assess, test, teach this standard, that objective-so many demands-- that we forget that students are kids and little humans not robots. They do not have the rules "pre-programmed" from the year before. You aren't the same teacher, with the same personality as the year before. Practice, re-practice, make games out of it, and really reinforce when they are doing the right things. Don't yell when they are doing the wrong things. That will get you nothing, nada, zippo!
Last thing tonight (Worked McTeacher Night and I'm pooped!) I do love seeing the kids outside of school because some of the littles really think we LIVE in the school. Too funny!
**Before it comes out of your mouth. Before you assign laps, detention, whatever. Before you ream a student out for not following the rule, think about this--For Reals and Seriously-- Would you want another person to speak to your own child, niece, Godchild, that way? If the answer is no--Don't do it! Find another way!
Peace, Love, and Rock the Teaching! Be Amazing! Be the teacher they never forget! Be the teacher they invite to graduation! (You know they gave you the gray hairs, so GO! See them become successful because you BELIEVED in them when no one else did!
